Why You Need To Stop Saying These 5 Things to Yourself
So, there a number of phrases I hear people say ALL THE TIME. And I probably hear this more than others because of my profession and what I do. So, today, I’m going to Cut through all the feckin’ crap and bull shit and really get to the heart of the matter. Now, I’m not pretending to be perfect, I still say some of these things to myself, but I now clock when I say them and do things to stop saying them and change my situation.
I’m going to give you some tough love today.
Ok, phrase # 1
I Don’t Have Time
This is huge, it’s one phrase I hear so often as a nutritionist and personal trainer.
“I’m too busy”
“I don’t have time”
“I wish there were more hours in my day”
And for some reason when it comes to our health, when it comes to taking care of ourselves first, there’s just never the time.
There is always something else that has to happen. But let’s be honest, you saying “I don’t have time”, is really just an excuse, it’s you not being honest with yourself. So, instead of playing the victim, by know you now I’m all about taking action, moving your arse and taking ownership of your life. So, instead of feeling sorry for yourself. What you need to do is take a good hard look at where you are spending your time.
What does your day look like, what does your week look like. Do you schedule things, do you create to-do lists, do you prioritize. That’s the key.
What things are priorities in your life?
For example, if you want to start running because you want to start exercising and you know you should be moving every day. Are you making a daily or weekly runs a priority? Do you have it scheduled, do you know how long you want that run to be. Are you planning for it? Or is running even your thing. Half of us want to be exercising and think we should start running or be going to the gym, but deep down those things don’t excite us. So, of course, there’s no motivation to do them.
And instead of acknowledging that, we use the excuse “I’m too busy to workout”, or “I wish I could, but I have a lot of other things going on right now”.
Does that sound like you?
If you keep saying to yourself you don’t have time, you really need to sit down with a sheet of paper and a calendar, write down all your to-do’s, start prioritizing those to-do’s, then put all those tasks into your calendar with times beside them. Then and only then will you have the time to what you really need to do.
If it’s important to you then you’ll always find the time to do it. If not, then let’s be honest, it’s not important to you.
It’s time to take ownership of your time and get shit done.
I Can’t Do It
“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right” – Henry Ford.
So, what you’re really doing is giving up before you even get started. Well, that’s a great way to life your life.
How many adventures, memories, opportunities are you throwing away because you’re telling yourself “I can’t”. How is that fun?
I believe it’s true that where your mind goes your reality follows. No, fecking shit you can’t do it if you keep telling yourself that. And you’ll never do it. You’re telling yourself you can’t because of fear, you’re afraid. I get it. I really do. There have been many times in my life where I thought I couldn’t, and many times when I did and ended up finding out, I really couldn’t. But that’s the fun part, that’s living life. You’ll never know unless you try.
You have something special and unique to offer the world, to offer your friends, family, to offer your neighborhood, community, school. If you keep telling yourself you can’t, then you are not only saying no to yourself, but you are saying no to all the people that could be helped by you, all the people that would be inspired by you, all the people whose lives would be changed for the better.
So, by you saying “I can’t”, you are actually being extremely selfish. And how dare you! If Michael Jackson, said “I can’t”, how different would the world be, if Steve Jobs, said “I can’t” how different would the world be, if Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King, said “I can’t” how different would the world be.
If there is someone in your life that has helped you, has inspired you, has motivated you in any way, if that person said “I can’t” where would you be right now?
Now’s the time to start saying “I can”, and find a way to do it. Look for the solutions, not the excuses.
I’m Not Good Enough
Oh, we’ve all played this game, haven’t we. Myself included. I still do it. When I had the idea for my podcast, and my Cut the Crap Club I thought I wasn’t good enough. I mean, I had no idea how to put a podcast together or a membership site. And I thought “who the heck is going to listen to me, really who am I”? I’m a nobody. Well, if I had of let all those thoughts take control, then you wouldn’t be reading this right now.
But the real questions is, by whose standards? By whose standards to you believe you are not good enough? We can easily trap ourselves into this game of comparisonitis. Honestly, though, we compare ourselves to everyone else. And then judge ourselves that we are not at their level, or can’t do things the way they are doing it.
This goes back to I can’t. Yes, you can and yes you are good enough. Why, because you are YOU. You have something special and unique that ONLY you can offer this world. Again, don’t be selfish. Share it.
And if you feel that you are really not good enough, then find a way to be good enough. Take a class, read, train, practice. Stop playing the victim and start taking action and living your life. The only way you can expect others to recognize your worth is when YOU start seeing it in yourself.
I’m so (whatever)…fat, stupid, dumb, useless etc.
You’re living in victim mode again.
This is about getting out of victim mode and into action mode.
Ok, so if you feel you’re so fat, then let’s get off your arse and start moving, change your diet, if you feel you are so stupid or dumb (which is totally not true, by the way, because we are all smart at something).I believe there are different types of smart, there are those that are academically smart, those that are street smart, common sense, compassionate, forgiving, all these are smart.
You’re feeling stupid and dumb because you’re feeling not good enough, read what I just wrote about not being good enough.
If you want to be smarter and less dumb then do something about it. Take a class, learn something, take a training course, read books. Often times, it’s the stupid things we do, that make us feel stupid, so instead of saying “I’m so stupid”, change the language, “It was a stupid thing I did, but that’s not who I am”.
Now, that you’ve clocked the stupid thing you did, you’ll make sure you won’t let that happen again.
Why Does this Always Happen to Me
Victim victim victim.
Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens because of you.
Every action has a consequence, and that consequence is going to either have a positive effect or a negative. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
So, if shitty things are always happening to you it’s because you are letting them and you are letting them get to you. You are letting them paralyze you. It’s how you are reacting to the situation.
Now, don’t get me wrong there are going to be shitting things that will happen in your life that you have absolutely no control over. That’s the 10% part. My father dying at 46 was a really shitty thing, but I can’t spend the rest of my life feeling sorry for myself because my dad is no longer around.
No, I’m still alive, so I’ve got to grab life by the balls and live. Again, this goes back to your choices, you’ve got to take ownership, this is YOUR life, no one can live it for you. And do you really want to be on your deathbed thinking, “damn it, I wish I could have done such and such when I had the chance”.
Also, if you are living in victim mode all the time, well, nobody wants to be around that. That’s just dark energy that is no fun, who likes to be around a complainer.
Here’s what I want you to do. Start a gratitude journal. Every night before bed, write down 3 things you are grateful for in your day. When you start doing that, you’ll soon see all the good that is in your life. And if you don’t, you’ll start taking action to make good things happen in your life. It’s hard to be in a bad mood when you are looking at all the good in your life on a daily basis.
There you have it.
5 things to stop saying to yourself. The big lesson here is to not forget to live. Be yourself, your authentic wonderful, glorious beautiful self.
Share your gifts, talents and spirit. And create memories that you can take with you throughout your life.
If you want to listen to this rant you can check out my Cut the Crap and Keep it Real Podcast episode 73.